INK: Sketches (Book 0 - parts 1 & 2)

  INK: Sketches (Book 0) Parts 1 & 2

  BY

  Bella Roccaforte

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  Copyright © 2014 by Bella Roccaforte

  Cover Model Courtney Simonds

  Prologue

  “…Twenty-nine, thirty!” Eli’s voice cracks as he turns away from the tree he was leaning against. “Ready or not, here I come!”

  My laughing is going to give me away if I don’t stop. That’s why I suck at this game; I either giggle when they get too close or have to pee in the middle of hiding. I’ve found a really great hiding spot. Mom is totally gonna flip out when she sees the black dirt and blood on my shorts. Sometimes if you wanna win you have to make some sacrifices. I’ll brave some cuts from the palm fronds and ruining some shorts if it keeps Eli from finding me first. It’ll totally be worth the pain and the punishment.

  Oh. My. God. Eli is standing right next to the palmetto bush; there’s no way he can see me. He’s holding still so he can try to hear me. My hand is cupped hard over my mouth to be sure no sound escapes. He’s looking down at the bush suspiciously. Crap. I hold completely still, never taking my eyes off of him through the fronds.

  When Eli finally moves on and is a safe distance away I slowly let my breath out, tie my long braids in front of me and tuck them down the front of my shirt. Eli usually won’t grab for them, but it wouldn’t be the first time Aiden used them against me to keep me from beating him to home base. I am so going to win this time. I’m in the perfect spot and Aiden went way too far out to beat me to base.

  It’s go time; I make a run for it. Eli notices me running and starts yelling something. I can’t make out what he's saying. Then there’s an impact and my head starts spinning when Aiden and I run smack into each other, putting us both on the ground right in front of the base.

  Eli runs toward us. I have to get to base. Scrambling across the thick Bermuda grass to reach the palm tree, Aiden grabs my ankle and pulls me back. What a jerk, he mows me down and now he’s going to pull me back so he can win? No way, it’s not happening this time.

  Even though laughter is bubbling out of Aiden and me, our eyes are still serious with the game at hand. I make it to the tree and put my palm flat on it. “Safe!”

  Aiden crawls over me and does the same. We are now laughing so hard that tears are streaming down our faces.

  Eli reaches us and pulls Aiden off me. He must see my tears and think I’m really hurt because his face is twisted with worry. “Shay, are you okay?” Not waiting for my answer he turns and glares at Aiden. “You idiot, you could have hurt her.”

  “I’m fine,” I manage through my laughter. I'm holding my belly with my knees tucked up to my chest, rolling on the grass.

  Aiden stands up and brushes the loose grass out of his short brown hair. He’s still laughing, and so am I, but Eli is so serious. He stands up and pushes Aiden with his spindly arms. “You really could have hurt her, you need to be more careful.”

  “Jeez, Eli, she’s not made of glass, like other girls. She’s just like us.” Aiden offers his hand and tugs me up off the ground. “See, she’s fine.”

  And then I hear it, the shrill of my mother’s voice. “Shayleigh Marie Baynes, what have you done to your clothes?”

  My eyes tilt toward the sky in an exaggerated roll. “Nothing, Mom.”

  Elise is standing by her side, glaring at me. I bet she told Mom I was getting dirty. She could have played with us, but she’s too prissy. “Get in the house this instant.”

  Eli approaches Mom. “Mrs. Baynes, is it okay if she stays out here until my mom gets here?” He smiles at her, pleading.

  Mom’s death stare softens at Eli’s plea. “I guess she can’t get any dirtier.” She folds her arms across her chest. “Aiden, your mother is here.”

  “Thanks Mrs. Baynes, I’ll be right there.” Aiden always has to one up Eli on trying to charm my mom. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’re going to the canal right?”

  “Yeah we are!” I’m excited there should be baby snapping turtles. I’ll definitely remember not to wear white shorts.

  Aiden punches Eli on the arm and heads in the house.

  Eli turns to me, examining my head. “Are you sure you’re okay, you got a giant bump.”

  “I’m fine.” I push his hand away from my head. “What do you want to do?” I ask, knowing that his mom will be here soon.

  “Wanna skip rocks?” he asks.

  “Sure, I’ll race you to the dock.” I start running before he can answer. He beats me to the dock with his stupid long legs. Ever since he got taller than me it’s a lot harder to beat him in a fair running race.

  We skip rocks until it gets too dark to see how many times the rocks are bouncing across the water so there’s no sense in tossing them anymore. I take my tennis shoes off and hang my legs over the side. Eli sits down next to me. “Are you excited about school?”

  “Not really, it’s not the same since you went to middle school. It feels lonely without you.” It really is. Even though we weren’t in the same classroom, we still usually had lunch and recess together. Now it’s just me and Aiden. Oh, and Elise, when she doesn’t mind getting her precious hands dirty.

  “I’ll still see you after school every day; I mean, we live across the street from each other,” he says, tossing a rock into the water.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  We are silent for a long time; Eli keeps looking over at me. He’s acting weird and he keeps wiping his hands on his shorts. He scoots over on the dock closer to me. I turn my head to see why he’s acting so weird and that’s when he does it. He puts his mouth on mine. I feel like I can’t breathe, and I don’t know what to do so I do what comes natural.

  “Gross, Eli!” I back away from him, wiping his spit off my mouth. His face instantly flushes and it’s like he can’t talk. I stand up on the dock and put my hands on my hips. “Seriously, what was that?”

  “I–I–” His stuttering gets worse the faster I tap my foot. “I wanted to kiss you before Aiden did.”

  “Oh double gross, I don’t want to kiss either of you. That’s so disgusting.” I lie, because I really did like how it felt.

  “I’m sorry, I thought that—”

  “Your mother’s here, Eli.” Elise’s voice breaks Eli’s apology. Before he can say another word I run into the house straight past Mom and Mrs. Walker to the bathroom. I’m totally confused and flustered. I liked it when he kissed me, but I’m not supposed to. It’s Eli, right?

  I stare at myself hard in the mirror for a long time trying to see if I look “different” somehow, since I just got kissed. My face reddens at the thought and remembering what he smelled like and what his breath felt like so close to me. I mean, he had been that close to me a hundred times, but this time it was different. My eyes close with the loss of my innocence to his lips and I hope it doesn’t mean the loss of our friendship. I don’t even want to think about what Aiden would think of this. Well that settles that, Aiden can never know.

  Oh my God this sucks. It’s going to change everything.

  Chapter One

  Reflection

  Staring down at my pale inanimate face surrounded by padded silk is the most haunting thing I may ever see. My hair in curls, even though I've never done it that way, looks so natural, like that's how I wear it every day. The light blond ringlets wash
out my color even more, and my lips are full and pouting with a muted pink stain painted on meticulously. I'm thankful for the peaceful expression, surprised they were able to do an open casket. I still half expect her lids to pop open, exposing my pale blue eyes glaring back at me with contempt or panic.

  Eli's arm is wrapped firmly around my shoulder and his tall frame envelopes me in concern and love. The typically intoxicating scent of him barely reaches me over the smell of this place, the smell of me lying there, still and unmoving. Mom was sure to fill the place with lavender, Elise's favorite flower. I've always hated lavender. There is little comfort in anything today. No normalcy, no reprieve from the deluge of condolences. The undertones of grief in Eli's expression tug at my soul. I know he's here for me, but I understand how he feels looking down at her. I see it in his eyes. He sees me, and it's disturbing on a cellular level.

  He leans down and whispers, "It's not you lying there, you know that." His beautiful ocean blue eyes are so sad with worry. I'm not exactly sure who he's trying to convince, me or him.

  Lacing my fingers in his on my shoulder I surrender a sad smile. "I know, just so long as you know."

  He nods and guides me down the steps. "Let's sit, it looks like your mom could use some of your strength."

  Mom looks through me with a hollow stare. It's hard to tell if she sees me at all. I rest my hand on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort. She continues staring straight ahead as I move in and out of her line of sight. Eli and I take our seats to her left.

  People are filing in to say their final goodbyes. There are so many here that I don't even know. Who are these people? Everyone that walks by washes out the same shade of shocked white when they see me. I guess Elise didn't talk about me. I can only imagine what it's like for them. What it must be like for Mom and Dad to have to look at me. I feel ashamed for the face I'm wearing. I wish I could evaporate into this pew and disappear. I just want this to be over.

  Numbness runs over me like a Mack truck. Eli has a death grip on my hand and hasn't let go since we took our post at the front of the church. He occasionally whispers in my ear that he's here for me if I need to let go emotionally. Even though he's fully aware of how I feel, he doesn't understand that this isn't the time for me to break.

  Mom is an absolute mess. She had chemo on Friday and is still feeling the effects. That is if she can feel anything at all, other than the spiraling despair of a mother who has lost a child.

  Dad is as solid as a rock. Would he be feeling the same way if it were me in there? It's always been pretty clear that I'm Dad's favorite, and Elise was Mom's. My mind wanders to terrible places. Does Mom wish it were me instead? I shake away the thought as the elderly priest approaches the pulpit.

  Eli's fingers clench around mine as Father Riley begins to speak. Just like when I was seven I tune him out as soon as his voice starts to drone on about life and death. It's times like this that being Catholic is a liability. It feels like this process goes on for days, probably because it does. We had the vigil yesterday, then the funeral mass today and a private internment tomorrow. It's all so morbid; we've been dealing with the rites all week.

  Mom's so sick that we've requested not to have a reception back the house. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I can't take another minute of her looking at me like she wishes I were Elise.

  The next hour is spent torturing myself that I should have done something to help, something that would have stopped her. The raw feelings of stupidity run through me about not knowing how deep in trouble she was. Of course I knew, but her doing something like this never crossed my mind. We were raised Catholic for Christ's sake. We don't commit suicide.

  Thoughts of Aiden walking in the door to come and comfort me waft through my mind obnoxiously like the overpowering scent of the lavender. I turned my back on Elise, just like Aiden has turned his back on me. I guess that puts me in the same category as him, a serial abandoner. I snuggle back into Eli to feel his solid form; it's comforting to know he's here.

  The service finally concludes. The relief of being out of here away from the smell creates a sense of urgency to leave. Hugging Mom and Dad, I tell them, "I'll stop by tomorrow to see if you need anything."

  "That's not necessary." Mom doesn't look at me when she speaks. She blames me for this, probably always will.

  "I'd like that, Shayleigh." Dad gives an extra squeeze when he hugs me. Eli offers to shake Dad's hand, but he won't have any part of it. He pulls Eli in for a hug, and it seems awkward to me, but Dad lets go emotionally under the supervision of Eli's strength. "Take care of her tonight, Eli." His voice is quivering yet resolved as he seems to hand me over to Eli for safe keeping. Dad's lips pull into a sad smile and his eyes spill over with tears.

  Turning to go down the aisle, we're met with an onslaught of people who would like to offer their condolences. I would like to offer them a wave and clear view of my ass as I walk out the door. Instead, though, I lean back into Eli to indicate that we should step back away from the crowd and just wait it out. He pulls us as far to the side as possible, but uncomfortably close to Elise. "I'd like to stay at my house tonight."

  "I'm not leaving you alone." His tone is firm yet gentle. That's Eli, strong and subtle. "I want to be there for you, you know, if you need me."

  I know he's referring to the fact that I have not shed a single tear since getting the news about Elise. "Eli, I'm fine, really. We weren't close." The words burn on my lips and tear at my soul with their honesty.

  "Whether you were close or not, you just lost your twin sister. There is going to be some painful realizations as time goes on, and I'm going to be there for you when it creeps up on you." Eli presses a gentle kiss on my head. "I anticipated your desire to be home, so I packed a bag before we left. I can hole up at your place for as long as you need me to."

  "Eli, aren't you in court this week?" Eli just started at the District Attorney's office a few months back right after graduation. He aced the bar on the first try. Watching him go through his first trial, he barely slept, spending every spare moment pouring over evidence and testimony to make sure he had captured the smallest nuances.

  "Sweetheart, look around." Eli motions to the church. "Half the courthouse staff and most of the cops in the county are here. This case is in front of Judge Thorpe, the one with his hand on your dad's shoulder. Preston has already filed a continuance until Monday."

  Wow, Dad being a retired police commissioner has its perks. This has to be the safest place in Florida right now. "I'm taking it I'm not getting rid of you, then?" I smile at the thought.

  His raven black hair brushes over his eyes when he leans down to whisper in my ear, "Not a chance." He tightens his embrace.

  "What about Rex?" I worry that Eli will go home to a dead dog; Lord knows his asshole brother Jerry won't take care of him.

  "Kevin's bringing him by tonight." Eli thought of everything, like always.

  Eli sucks in a sharp breath, firming his hold on me. "Brace yourself."

  Being so tall affords him a bird's eye view of our surroundings, alerting me of the oncoming assault of drama. The crowd in the aisle parts and there she is, with her platinum blond pixie cut and bright green eyes. Her arms are already outstretched to hug me. I know she's here to console me, but please dear God put a muzzle on her. I hope she realizes that my mom is right here and we are surrounded with many of Dad's old and Eli's new colleagues. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry!" She wraps her arms around me in an embrace to soothe me. It's uncomfortable with her like this. Even though we've been friends since elementary school, we've never been touchy-feely.

  "Thanks Trish." I pull away to retreat to the comfort of Eli's arms.

  "Shay, I'm really sorry for your loss." Kevin says giving me a quick hug, still out of breath from trying to keep up with Trish and her tiny frame weaving through the crowd.

  "This is such bullshit, Shay. What the fuck was she thinking?" Trish's condolences spin into anger in what must set a new record.


  "Trish, please. My mom and dad are right here." I tick my head to indicate their presence.

  "I'm sorry, but what she did was a bitch move." Trish's eyes are starting to spill over in tears. Even though she and Elise weren't particularly close, this sort of thing usually affects Trish. I think it's the drama queen in her. Soon she'd be breathing radioactive fire on downtown Tokyo if she didn't bring the center of attention to where it belongs, on her.

  "Kevin, we were about to go, why don't you take Trish home." Eli is so level headed. It's amazing how just a few years’ difference in age really makes him so much wiser. Or maybe that's just Eli.

  "Is there anything you need?" Trish asks, but without taking a breath she continues, "But not tomorrow, I have a job interview."

  "No Trish, I have Eli. We are just going to lie low for a few days, let it all sink in." I can't help but laugh. Trish has been 'looking' for a job for months now. She got fired from Chili's because she had too many disagreements with her customers. Let's just say waiting tables probably isn't her thing, or anything else that involves the general public. "But good luck tomorrow."

  "Okay, hon'. Call me, 'kay?" Her lashes flutter as she turns away.

  "Yeah man, and I'll see you two later when I bring Rex by." Kevin flashes me another sad smile and ushers Trish out by the small of her back.

  Chapter Two

  Resolve & Rejection

  The drive home from the funeral was quiet, thankfully. Eli parks in the driveway and I eyeball the mailbox. It’s been mocking me for months. I know that one of these days there's going to be something good in there besides bills and junk mail. Today would be a great day for some good news. Eli opens the door for me and helps me out of his Audi TT. "Thanks." I smile and he pulls me out of his car into a sweet hug.

  "I'm going to get the mail. Will you put some coffee on please?" My eyes stay fixed firmly on the mailbox. You will have news in there!